Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
