so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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