May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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