$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize