any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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