it hurts more in the daytime
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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