girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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