My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
