I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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