If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
