Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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