dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i will never coherently bang her
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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