I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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