everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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