A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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