I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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