I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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