It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
ttyl tear gas
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
