I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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