the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
