Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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