So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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