I'm drive I can fine osifer
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
