At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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