You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So. Much. Porn.
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