I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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