i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
