so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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