Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He felt like a one man threesome
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
