The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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