then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
