Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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