I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
