it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
