It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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