He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
