Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
