Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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