Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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