First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
