Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
