just come out here and I will go home with you...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize