I have demons in me.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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