Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
No stitches, just platelets and will power
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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