I just saw a hot homeless man
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
