I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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