Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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