Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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