her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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