So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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