dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
