what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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