how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
