I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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