i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
