Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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