shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
