im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
