So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
