dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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