There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's blow job season.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
