Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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