of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
