there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize